Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Swimsuit Shopping

Just when I was starting to feel good about my new mommy figure, I went swimsuit shopping.
It was not to be avoided. My last swimsuit I got when I was a senior in high school. It hasn't fit well for the last couple years, but since I don't swim much, I just wore it anyways.
But now post-Nathan, everything is shaped different. And we're going on a trip this weekend, and staying at a hotel with a pool. Decent swimsuit has become a necessity.
And let me tell you about the selection of swimsuits at Wal Mart. There are three choices. We have the super-trendy: chunky beads, gold chains, and belts. We have the old lady: garish Hawaiian print and huge tent-shaped skirts. We have the cheap: thin fabric and no extra padding (which is necessary not for adding size, but for the "nip guard" factor).
Of all of the one-pieces there were only two that I'd even think about being seen in public in - a dark red one and a black and white one. So I took those two selections into the dressing room where I found out two lessons immediately:
Even though I recently bought a size 12 dress, and size 14 jeans, a swimsuit that says 12/14 isn't guaranteed to fit. I got it up about mid-thigh and thought, "This isn't going to work." But I reminded myself that swimsuits need to be snug, so I writhed and wriggled and got it on up. I got it over my shoulders and looked in the mirror. As I see bits of myself bulging out of every opening, I realized lesson #2. Swimsuits are apparently sized to fit women more in the 5'6" range. The neckline of this thing was residing somewhere decidedly below my neckline. Well below.
I went back to the rack, only to find that this late in the season, there are gaps in the sizes. And the gaps are always the size that I need. I did find the red one in the next two sizes. The next size up still made me a little bulgy on the bottom half, so I put on the next size bigger - do you know what it did to my pride to be trying on size 18/20? Not that there's anything wrong with wearing that size, but I thought I was a size 12/14!
The bigger size fit okay, but I just didn't like how it looked enough to justify spending $30. If I'm going to drop that type of money on clothing, I want to love it, and love how I look in it.
Back to the racks.
Having exhausted the possibilites in one-pieces, I moved on to the two pieces.
I don't know why they make bikinis that fit gals like me. I'm pretty sure the rest of the world doesn't want to see me in a string bikini. I don't want to see me in a sting bikini.
I thought about one of those tankinis, but realized I would still have to wear something so cover the rest of my [wonderfully stretch-marked] belly. Plus, there was only one that didn't have some hideous belt on the bottom. So I looked at the basic bikinis.
Don't picture it too much, but what I settled on was a plain brown bikini, some cute brown swim shorts, and an orange tank. Four pieces that fit me better, and still cost less than that one-piece. And I am happier with this selection, because that means that when Nathan and I are hanging out in our kiddie pool in the backyard, I can just wear the two pieces and get a sort of a tan (as much as you can in the shade).
Because my one-year-old won't judge me for looking hideous in a bikini.

2 comments:

carrie said...

It took me 30 years to learn that the two piece is actually better for tall gals. But only the two pieces with plenty of coverage are acceptable.

Meaning, the top half has to meet the bottom half. No belly allowed. And it has to have a skirt.

I finally found one in a catalog, wore it for one summer, felt really cute, then I got pregnant and it doesn't fit right anymore.

But guess who wore it to the pool anyway?

Let's just say it was a "sanctuary of voluptuousness" (only Rachel will get that joke, by the way)

Anonymous said...

I feel for you! I hate swimming suits, especially post-baby! Who designs these things anyway? And if I finally do find a great suit, it costs more than I usually spend on my clothes!
I love your blog by the way. It is so funny, it makes me smile on those rough days when I have heard "Mommy, Mommy!" for the millionth time!! It's nice to hear from someone with the same struggles that I have. Keep it up!